We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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