i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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