And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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