do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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