I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
