he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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