goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
