Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
