he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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