She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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