New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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