man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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