Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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