You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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