I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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