My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
