i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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