So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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