My first STD was from a foam party
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
