Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize