Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
