somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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