I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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