He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
