I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
