I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize