apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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