A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
