Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
