So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
