i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
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Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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