we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize