You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
