I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we're making bets on your personal life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
