I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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