i think i have two assholes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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