It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
