i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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