This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I forget how to act sober
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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