hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
