hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
