She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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