maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
