I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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