what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
