dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
