the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
