Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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