kristin has been a bad kristin
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize