also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
