I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
