Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
No subtext here. People are naked.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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