It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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