If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
