the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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