Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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