alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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