ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
