Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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